


Chunga Changa, Bitches

by Jak_the_ATAT



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Chunga Changa, Desperate Measures mission, Zakheav gets a mention too, birthday fic, crack!fic, this is literally what happens when I stay up until 3am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:13:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28151421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jak_the_ATAT/pseuds/Jak_the_ATAT
Summary: MK-Ultra has nothing over the power of Chunga ChangaA birthday gift fic for my fellow Belikov lover author, KnifingGale!
Relationships: Dimitri Belikov & Bell (Call of Duty)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	Chunga Changa, Bitches

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KnifingGale](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnifingGale/gifts).



> Happy birthday, KnifingGale! Hope you enjoy!

She loves to sing.

Sometimes to external music, sometimes to music in her head. It doesn't matter because she can't sing in tune for the life of her. The only partial saving grace was maturity, which helped lower her voice so at least it was a decently pleasant off-tune and not an ear drum rupturing kid screech.

The best part; she doesn't have to belt out her squawks alone. Equally bad is her partner in crime. They never sang to one particular genre, bouncing between Vladimir Vysotsky, to Mark Bernes, movie soundtracks, and more. However, one particular children's song became their favorite when they heard a comrade singing it to his daughter over the phone.

The two made a name for themselves when they were called back to one of the VVS divisions as MI-24 pilots. At first, every called them "the annoying duo." Later, they became known as "the-dudes-who-drive-the-higher-command-up-a-wall-but-their-entire-unit-will-drop-what-they're-doing-and-sing-with-them-and-it's-a-good-team-building-exercise" (or just "the Chuvaks" for short). And when December 24th, 1979 hit, Afghanistan finally saw the wrath of the tightly knit _Double-Headed Screaming Eagles_ division, but had no idea the unit was singing _Chunga Changa_ as they rose Hell.

After a year of serving in Afghanistan, the two friends split up in hopes of finding better lives. And it was here he was ripped away from her as he landed a job with he KGB. She wrote once, said she found a nice group to stay with, then asked him if there were any new songs she should learn before they met one another again. He wasn't allowed write back.

For the next year, she sang their song alone, though it didn't feel the same without him. And on the anniversary she set the letter, she finally gave in to the long realization that it was no fun without him.

On that day, she quit singing. 

* * *

When Bell first sees Belikov, she's overwhelmed with confusion. Her heart claims to know this person but her brain knows déjà vu when she sees it. He, too, must be having déjà vu. He shifts awkwardly, sometimes stumbling over his English while talking to Adler. He never addresses her but he does continue to steal glances.

He leaves to find a disguise for them, and Adler chooses this time to have the audacity to ask, "Do you know him?"

"No, of course not," Bell responds. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason. He seems interested in you." Adler has that dumb immature smirk of his on. "You should consider."

"I would prefer to shoot you than date him."

"Wow..." Now Adler is uncomfortable.

Belikov returns and something activated inside her: a yearning to sing. She doesn't really pay attention to what's said next, but she does hear him mention Commander Sobol.

Her body runs on autopilot as her thoughts turn into memories. Some of them feel real. Some of them fake. She thinks of Afghanistan and Vietnam at the same time, fairly sure she's been in both wars despite the fact she would have been on the U.S.'s side in one and the USSR's side in the other. Now and then, she sees Belikov and Adler in her memories. It doesn't make sense. Then again, neither does the fact that she is currently sneaking through Lubyanka with Adler and attempting to avoid a metal detector. She sometimes wonders how he's even able to keep his shades on without raising attention.

"What do you think you're doing?" A young voice reaches her ears through her mental fog, and she has no choice but to look towards the Soviet wandering towards her. "Everyone must go through the checkpoint."

"We have Commander Sobol's authorization," she responds easily, and is disappointed when her response is rejected. Adler glances at her disappointedly, then goes back to expressionless before proceeding to the checkpoint.

 _'Well, we're fucked,'_ is the only thing she can think. And yet, as she goes through the checkpoint, her heart feels lighter than it should. That little kids tune starts to play in her head, assuring her hunch. There's no worry of being caught as she places the bag on the counter and Adler makes one last futile attempt to stop the soldiers.

Somehow, she knew Belikov would come to their rescue.

Adler isn't pleased at the last second save. "You're running late, Belikov," he mutters.

Belikov shoots him a mischievous look. "I'm here, nyet?" He locks eyes with Bell. "Ах, Чудо-остров. Жить на нём легко и просто." With that, he hands the bag back before letting them go.

Adler waits until they've reached the elevator and the door starts to close before looking at her curiously. "Wonder Island? Living on it is easy and effortless? The hell does that mean?"

Bell doesn't respond, focused on the hand that suddenly reaches into the door. Just some scary dude. Nothing that she and Adler can't take care of--but only after she shits on Adler and fails the awkward elevator questions so scary dude can whack Adler over the head with an M1911. Adler doesn't speak to her for the rest of the elevator ride. And when he finally does, it's only when he's ready to shoot up the bunker.

She'd like to say it was easy to the vault but with alarms blaring and Adler giving no fucks about stealth—except for when he wants to plant a gas bomb—it's not pretty. They're lucky to be alive by the time they do reach the vault. Adler slams the door shut as Bell gets to work copying over the sleeper agent files. And, in good humor, the Soviets choose to break cut through the highly secure doors that look like they're the reason half the USSR is broke to get them.

"Bell! Hurry the fuck up!" Adler says.

"It's not my fault this is the 80s computer and not a ChromeBook!" Bell snaps back.

"What?"

"Nothing. Ignore me."

The door falls apart and Adler and Bell opened fire as Soviets ran in. But even with their aggression, it isn't long before the Soviets push their way in, firing in staggered patterns and forcing the two to keep their heads down.

The two throw grenades then duck behind the desk. "Has that disk copied yet?" Adler grunts.

"Uhh, no," Bell says. "But we're at 69%!"

Adler swore. "So we're pinned."

"Seems about right." Bell closes her eyes, thinking how they might be able to get out of here. Instead a tune plays in her head.

_Chunga-Changa - deep blue dome of the sky!_

Bell's mind zones out. No longer conscious of herself, she starts to hear things she'd never notice otherwise. The patterns in the shooting. The movement of the soldiers. Which soldiers reloaded at a specific time. As of course, the disk finishing up.

_Chunga-Changa - summer is all year_ _round!_

Her muscles twitch as her memories scramble about. Suddenly, she's in Afghanistan behind the MI-24's MG. In sync with the beat, she's pulling the trigger and singing along with a chorus.

_Chunga-Changa - merrily living!_

The shootout makes sense to her. She  
peeks her head out to fire, then ducks down in time to avoid a hell storm of bullets. Her next shots are via blind fire but when she hears fewer weapons blazing as she goes to reload, a smirk appears on her face.

_Chunga-Changa - singing a little song!_

"Why are you singing!?" Adler cries. "This is not a good time!"

Bell shoots him a death glare, the threat _'No one interrupts the Chunga Changa'_ running through her head. Adler squirms slightly, falling silent and letting Bell one-woman-army herself out of the vault and through the lower floor while singing.

"You are surrounded!" A Soviet calls over the intercoms. "We have your friend!"

Adler bites is lip and draws his gas mask. "Time for plan B. Activate the gas."

"I got a better idea," Bell chimes. "With the power of Chunga—"

"Just activate the fucking gas, Bell!"

Bell grumbles and does it Adler's way. Which, annoyingly, turned out to be the smarter way. All the Soviets start choking on themselves while Bell produces a second gas mask to provide Belikov that she doesn't remember packing.

Adler's talking strategy to Belikov now, and Bell just trots behind the two, listening. "We'll need heavier equipment," Adler says.

"I know just the place," Belikov hums. He turns to Bell and even though the gas mask she can see his smirk. "Remember, no Russian."

"What??" Adler wails.

Bell shrugs. "Nothing. Ignore him." 

* * *

Nighttime falls up one E6. Save for Bell, Belikov, Adler, and Park, the team has split for the day. Park is fussing over Adler's random bruises, which he claims were from beating up so many Soviets but Bell knows he fell in the parking lot on their way into Lubyanka. Lazar didn't stop laughing for a full minute.

Belikov is playing with Mason's Walkman, somehow finding a cassette tape with the exact song he wanted. "So do you remember now?"

"Remember the song, yes?"

"But what about its significance."

"Nope."

"Chort..." Belikov sighs. "Sounds like some government experimental influence is in play." He clicks the Walkman on. The song starts with its little flute intro.

"I may not know the full significance, but I know what it's good for right now," Bell says.

She finishes her mini monologue shortly before the lyrics kick in. The two begin to belt it out.

_"_ _Чунга-чанга, синий небосвод!_   
_Чунга-чанга, лето круглый год!_   
_Чунга-чанга, весело живем!_   
_Чунга-чанга, песенку поем!_

_"_ _Чудо-остров, чудо-остров_   
_Жить на нем легко и просто_   
_Жить на нем легко и просто_   
_Чунга-чанга_

_"_ _Наше счастье постоянно!_   
_Жуй кокосы! Ешь бананы!_   
_Жуй кокосы! Ешь бананы!_   
_Чунга-чанга_ _!"_

Adler groans. "What is wrong with you two!?"

The two stare at him. In that moment, Bell can hear all her comrades from the _Double-Headed Screaming Eagles_ surrounding her and Belikov and saying in unison with them, "No one interrupts the Chunga Changa." Belikov turns the Walkman's volume all the way up at the bridge of the song where the trumpets blare and Bell mimics playing along on a ruler as they march towards Adler aggressively.

"Alright! Alright! Извините! I'm sorry!" Adler says.

"You must sing along to apologize to the Chunga Changa," Belikov states.

Bell nods vigorously. "Damn right."

"Wha— what is this, a cult?!" Adler's still trying to find a way out of his.

The two glare at him and take a step closer, making his Adam's Apple bob. And so, when the melody comes up again, Adler joins their singing.

_"_ _Wonder_ _Island, Wonder Island!_   
_Living on it is easy and effortless_ _!_   
_Living on it is easy and effortless_ _!_   
_Chunga-Changa_ _!_

_"_ _Our happiness is constant_ _!_   
_Chew coconuts_ _,_ _eat bananas_ _!_   
_Chew coconuts_ _,_ _eat bananas_ _!_   
_Chunga-Changa_ _!"_

"What the fucckkkk," Park whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> Chuvak means 'dude' more or less.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
